Are Your Beliefs Keeping You From Successfully Achieving your Goals?

When we are looking to change our habits to achieve goals, one of the things that can  stand in our way of being successful, be it health, relationships, professional, etc., are our beliefs. These are the beliefs that we hold in our minds, about ourselves or the world around us, that you have likely carried with you since early in life. Are your beliefs keeping you from successfully achieving your goals? Let’s take a look.

What Are Beliefs?

So, what are beliefs exactly? Beliefs are defined as accepting that a statement is true or that something exists. Now, notice that it does not say that your belief is necessarily true. It’s the individual accepting that a statement is true or that something exists. Beliefs are formed by the thoughts you think and have been thinking, likely, throughout your lifetime. Most of these originated in childhood, perhaps from our parents, upbringing, or even our culture. These are thoughts that have been in your brain, and they can be conscious or subconscious.

An Example

An excellent example of this might be your thoughts surrounding money. In your home, you may have heard that “money doesn’t grow on trees, or it’s “the route of all evil.” Now you hold this belief that money is bad. We may like it and know that we need it, but we don’t necessarily see it as positive. Or maybe you were told, as a child, that you were so smart and good when you got good grades. You hold this belief that good grades=good girls or smart. Then, you got a D that one time. You become disappointed in yourself and feel you could have done better, and now you may be having self-talk like “I’m so dumb, or “I’m not worthy, I can’t do this.” Even if your parents have not said that to you, you create this belief in your mind.

These thoughts may lead to a “perfectionist” mindset. Now we don’t want to blame anyone here necessarily. Remember, your parents had an upbringing too, and so did their parents. They also developed belief patterns from their childhood. Sometimes beliefs about oneself come a little later in life, perhaps from a verbally abusive relationship. Or maybe you were bullied in high school and called a particular name; let’s use “loser” as an example. You begin to believe that perhaps you are a “loser” because you have heard this repeatedly. We may lose a sense of belonging and maybe even our sense of safety here. We carry this belief in us that could lead to actions or unhealthy habits down the road.

It’s All About Perception

We create our own truth. Even when there is a conversation between two people, there We create our own truth. Even when there is a conversation between two people, there are two different perceptions of that conversation. The only actual truth is the words that are spoken. What the two people take from those words could be two completely different truths. This is based on what types of thoughts and beliefs we have had over time.

Now, we have many thoughts popping into our heads every day. The average is somewhere around 70,000. Granted, many of them could be so random and meaningless that they come in and go right back out. But many come in and stay there. Especially those that stuck early in life. When we are children and adolescents, we don’t always control what thoughts stick with us and which do not. These end up being the thoughts that create our beliefs.

Beliefs Shape Our Experience

When we have certain beliefs, they end up shaping our experiences. Then, our experiences confirm our beliefs. When circumstances occur in our lives, be it When we have certain beliefs, they end up shaping our experiences. Then, our experiences confirm our beliefs. When circumstances occur in our lives, be it childhood trauma, your husband left you, you weren’t a good student, perhaps the belief sticks that “I am unworthy of happiness.” Whatever the belief is, our brains are wired by neuro-transmitters to believe the thoughts to be true. We give the brain the facts as we see them. The brain then makes meaning of it. The problem is that our brain doesn’t recognize whether those “facts” are actual or not. For the brain, it’s just a piece of information that you have invited in.

Limiting Beliefs

Limiting beliefs are typically false, but we have set them up in our minds to believe them as true. These types of beliefs will prevent us from pursuing our goals and desires. Limiting beliefs can keep you from doing many things, like changing your career, writing that book, or finding and creating the relationship you really want. These beliefs limit you; hence the term “limiting beliefs.”

You can think of them as blocking your view; you cannot visualize how far you can go. Some examples of limiting beliefs might be that I am not worthy of making that much money. I have always been heavy; I will never be a thin person. I could never have that job because I am a woman. How about, “I Can’t.” Stating that you can’t do something puts a halt to you even trying in the first place.

More Common Beliefs That Hold Us Back

When we want to achieve something, we may believe that it was not meant to happen in this lifetime, so we never even try to achieve the goal. Another common belief is that you might have to lose something to achieve the goal. This brings an element of fear with moving forward. You will deny yourself ever having this desire because you have the “either/OR mindset. I mean, why can’t you have both and more? In your mind, you can’t have both. The shift here would be to believe that you can have both and more. You may worry that you’re greedy or perhaps selfish. These are beliefs. Remember, they are not necessarily true.

Another common belief is feeling like someone else will be missing out if you have Another common belief is to feel like someone else will be missing out if you have both. That somebody else will be diminished. A common belief (which is also a common fear) is worrying about what others will think of you if you change and transform. Or how about believing you’re not skinny enough? You may chronically diet, wear baggy oversized clothes to cover it, over-exercise, or perhaps hide out from life. These are all behaviors and actions taken based on a belief. So the action and the behavior will stem from that. Can you resonate with any of these?

So our beliefs have been created over time, and they end up being internal processing strategies for us. We use them to make decisions, to behave in a certain way. They become how we learn, how we solve problems, and how we view the world.

Changing Our Beliefs

The good news is, we can change our beliefs and change those thoughts to those that will lead us toward our goals and the life we were meant to live. We look to our beliefs and thoughts, even if they are not true, to shape our experiences. Look back on your own life here. We end up having very similar experiences over and over again. We get on this pattern of how we do things. When it comes to habit change, we really must look at this. We need to see where you may have created habits based on beliefs and the experiences you have had in your lifetime or that you’re having right now. This is a big shift, and again, it may take some work. To make new habits stick, you must know why you are reverting to your old ways.

Sometimes we don’t have control over our thoughts, but we do have control over how we respond to them. A habit that many of us have is negative self-talk. Get curious about this when it happens and any thought, really. Let’s not judge them, but get curious about them. Just recognize the thought, like hmmm, where is that coming from? and let it go. This takes practice. You get to choose where your thoughts and beliefs are taking you. Are they leading you toward growth and transformation, or more toward a fixed mindset?

Moving Toward Your Goals

The bottom line our beliefs deeply affect our ability to get certain results; We have been thinking these thoughts for a long time. They are typically thoughts that have shaped our beliefs since childhood.  It becomes quite the cycle because remember, our beliefs will make our experiences, and then our experiences will justify our beliefs. These beliefs will drive our decisions, stabilizing the belief, creating much of our identity, how we see ourselves in the world, or how others see us. This will ultimately drive our actions and behaviors. The mind will find a way to support the belief that you are not worthy, or you are not smart enough, young enough, strong enough, pretty enough. 

To move past these beliefs keeping you from successfully achieving your goals, you first have to know what your limiting beliefs are. Because we don’t really question our beliefs, it can be challenging to fully recognize them.  Need some help exploring what beliefs might be holding you back? Book a complimentary discovery call to discuss your goals and start moving past them today!