Five Fears That Can Hold You Back from Conquering Your Goals

Could fear be your most significant obstacle in conquering your goals and dreams? Fear could be the number one thing that gets in one’s way of living the life they desire. In this article, let’s discuss five fears that may be holding you back from conquering your goals.

Fear does have its benefits. I mean, if you or someone you love is in danger, fear can be helpful. In a situation like this, we take action. So, being completely fearless is not the antidote to fear itself. We want to take the opportunity to learn from fear. I invite you to ask yourself, “What is the positive intention that this fear can have?” What is on the other side of that fear? What can be learned or accomplished from it? But perhaps more importantly, why are you protecting yourself from the thing that you fear? Are there certain fears that are holding you back from conquering your goals?

We humans like the status quo. Change can sometimes cause us to shut down because there’s an unsafe aspect to it. The unknown. So fear keeps us safe. It keeps us from discovering what’s on the other side because it is unfamiliar. Let’s look at the five fears that may be holding us back from conquering our goals.

Fear of Being Judged

“But, what will others think of me?” Oh, this question I have asked myself so many times in my life. I continue to push through this one every day! Look, I have learned that nobody cares that much about what you are doing. You think they do, and that makes you uncomfortable. But even if they have something to say or even give a thought to what you’re doing, then likely, they have an issue with themselves. Not you. Plus, whatever they were thinking about you yesterday is a distant memory today. The best advice I have gotten about this exact subject is, “what others think about you is none of your business.” So, don’t let what others think about you or fear what they might say or think about you hold you back. This will lead to regret, what-ifs, and worse, keeping you stuck!

Fear of Failure

Fear of failure is a biggie. Maybe you have tried something in the past that didn’t work out. The inner voice in your head can be a nuisance and a buzz kill, I might add. The dialogue may go something like this “You can’t do this. Remember what happened last time?” or “What if it doesn’t work out?” or “But I failed before at this.” Or “I can’t do it good enough because…..” Any of these sound familiar? Are these questions and fears that keep you from conquering your goals?

What if you changed your perspective about failure. Let’s look at it through a different lens and suggest that there is no such thing as failure, only feedback. What happened when you tried it last time? What did you learn? Take those details and turn them into your blueprint for your action plan so you can do it differently. We tend to run away from the elements that resulted in our failure, but putting those details to work on how you will approach “the thing” can be your greatest gift. And By the way, your biggest challenges can be your greatest gifts. Challenges can allow you to transform. We are going to have struggles in life. Instead of allowing us to feel through the struggle, we tend to swallow it.

If we open our eyes, minds, and hearts to the feedback and the learning experience, we can start implementing a path that we may not have seen before. This may be the key to unlock the door to success that you may not have found had you not had that particular struggle or challenge, to begin with. So, use failure as feedback. Don’t ask yourself, “why did this happen?” instead, ask, “what did I learn?”.

Fear of Success

You might be thinking, “Why on earth would I be afraid to succeed?” Hear me out on this one. We may unintentionally sabotage ourselves from succeeding. Again, we, as humans, are not very comfortable with change. We put the breaks on. If success brings about significant change in your life, this may lead you to feel uncomfortable. Let’s use the example of money for one moment. We may have this underlying fear of having more money. Maybe it’s the responsibility that comes with it, or a fear of losing it, or even the fear of not knowing how to manage it.

Will it change you as a person? We can have a lot of underlying beliefs about money that cause us to feel this fear. Maybe you learned at a young age that money was the route of evil or that people who have money are jerks and selfish. These all play a role in why you might not be successful in making more money.

Another example could be losing a significant amount of weight. The fears that may surface are having to change your eating habits and your lifestyle. There may be fear of not fitting in with friends and family with the changes that come with this success. This may bring fears of separation or abandonment.

There can be several fears that can surface when it comes to being successful at reaching our goals. The key is to recognize them. They may emerge with actions of self-sabotage. You will then find reasons to validate why you can’t or shouldn’t move toward that goal. We will often come up with many bad things surrounding “if” we get what we want as we will good things. With self-sabotage, it may even be more. Keeping the weight on, for example, may have a positive intention for you; as mentioned above, this may be needing to belong or stay where we are because it is comfortable.

Fear of Loss

Fear of loss can come in many different packages. It can be losing a loved one, losing a relationship, a job, rejection, or even your autonomy. Aside from always wanting to be safe, we also want love and belonging. Loss can bring on feelings of abandonment or separation from the familiar. This is terrifying and a place that is very uncomfortable for us.

Let’s take the “fear of success” as an example. We may fear that if we successfully reach our greatest goals, we may lose relationships along the way. The thought of you changing while others “stay-behind,” can be a frightening notion. We must come to realize that we cannot change others, but we must still grow. Likely, if the relationship is strong and meant to be part of your life, the other party will be supportive and perhaps follow your lead. If not, there is a chance you may need to let go of some relationships that might be keeping you stuck.

Loss is frightening, but when confronted with this fear, the key is to look at what you’re afraid of. What do I mean by this? Some examples: Are you afraid of ending a bad relationship because you’re afraid of being alone? Is it a loss of companionship? Are you fearful of leaving your current job and pursuing starting your own business because of the fear of security? Are you afraid of asking for a raise because you’re afraid of being rejected? Now, in each situation where you fear losing something, imagine instead what would happen if you didn’t pursue “the thing.” Leaving that relationship will free you from being stuck in a bad relationship.

You may get to know and love yourself and end up with your soul mate. Starting that business may bring you more success than you could ever dream of! Not asking for that raise will keep you from growing in your field, but if the answer was yes, then the sky is the limit! You have to ask to receive, and if the answer is no, this opens the door to perhaps you moving in another direction. Rejection, like fear, is a learning opportunity. Use it as feedback.

Fear of Making Mistakes

These are several feelings we may experience when we make mistakes. One is humiliation. Who wants to feel humiliated? It can ultimately lead to shame or worthlessness. When we are humiliated, there is a feeling that we are good enough or that we have failed. We feel this on an identity level when we experience shame from the mistakes that we have made.  When we feel shame, this causes us to believe that we are inadequate, perhaps that we’re not worthy.

We tend to focus on the negative. So, let’s do it! Imagine the worst thing that could happen if you went through with the “thing”? Is it likely? Most of the time, no. So go ahead, imagine the worst, decide what you would do, then move on. The more you obsess over the worst-case scenario, the more anxiety and fear you will feel.

Now, imagine the desired outcome. Concentrate on that. Create the vision in your mind from what you’re wearing to the smell in the air. Using all five senses makes it real, releases endorphins, which will keep you motivated.

Don’t Give Up!

Life was meant to be lived. We were meant to have goals and aspirations. Some of us have been experiencing feelings of fear for so long that it feels “normal” for us to be anxious and upset. Fear has protected us for so long that it can be hard to let go. It can be intense, but to move forward in conquering your goals, these feelings need to be replaced with feelings of peace and trust in our intuition. Let yourself feel the fear and be curious about where it is coming from. Use that information as feedback, then jump in, friend! Just do the thing!!

What are your fears when it comes to conquering goals?

I hope that you can use these five fears in conquering goals to help you change your perspective. If you feel you need help, reach out and book a call with me!