The #1 Thing You Can Do to Start Getting Out of Your Own Way!

Do you feel stuck in your life? Do you feel like nothing goes your way? Maybe every time you get ahead, something happens that sets you back a few steps? You feel demotivated. Maybe even like a failure. In this article, I want to discuss the “thing” that you can shift that can have an enormous impact on how you set goals, make decisions, and approach your everyday life so that you can start getting out of your own way and living the life you were meant to! Let’s discuss how to get out of your own way!

So What is this #1 Thing You Can Do?

So what can you start doing today to get out of your own way? Stop living a life based on circumstances. In other words, start taking 100% responsibility for what happens in your everyday life and stop being a victim of circumstance. Pardon me if that sounds harsh, but hear me out, people! Most of us live our lives based on circumstance. A circumstance, by definition, is a fact or condition connected with or relevant to an event or an action. In other words, it’s just the condition of an event. Something occurred, and the circumstance was the result.

A great example is the weather. As I am writing this, it is raining outside. It’s cloudy with no sunshine peeking through. We often look to this kind of day through the lens of gloom and melancholy. Think about an image of a cloud with a sad face and some raindrops. This vision often represents the feeling of being “down in the dumps.” This is opposed to an image of a happy sunshine face depicting a “happy” sunny mood. The circumstance = rain. The result = mood.

Taking Control

Much of the circumstances in your life were not created by you. They also do not have to define your experiences. The circumstances are out of your control, such as the rain.  Your reaction to circumstances is what ultimately creates the experience that you’re having. We all fall into this trap. Your reaction is what changes the outcome.

Have you ever had something happen to you in the morning? Let’s say it was just hectic. Your kid missed the bus, or maybe someone cut you off in traffic. You’re ticked off because something threw your morning off. Now you’re just stewing on it and decide that this day stinks! Perhaps it’s Monday on top of it all, and well, you hate Mondays. You decide that guy who cut you off is a real jerk, and he just made Monday 10x worse.  Maybe you spilled your coffee on yourself because of it. Well, now you have all of these circumstances that have built up, and you blame them for your bad day. All that these circumstances do is trigger a thought. If you could shift your thoughts and instead approach these events differently, your experience would be different.

Choose What to Spend your Energy On

We spend an awful lot of time trying to change circumstances to fit into the container we hold. When the attempt to change the “thing” doesn’t happen the way that we think it should or want, we create beliefs based on that. Am I saying not to change circumstances that don’t serve us or that may be harmful to us, our loved ones, or even our community (when we’re talking on a much larger scale)? NO; however, we cannot blame them for our outcomes.

Instead, we need to shift the thoughts we have surrounding them to change the direction of our thinking so that it has a more positive impact on our lives.

How do We Start Getting Out Of Our Own Way?

Changing our outlook and using circumstances as a lesson could open a door that we didn’t see before. We may find that it was the door we needed to open all along. I mean, how many times have you done something that maybe did not work out for you, and when it didn’t, something else better came along as a result? You look back later and recognize that it was meant to be.

The key here is not to try to change the circumstance. Again, most of the time, it is out of our control anyway. Rather, we must begin to change our reaction to it. So how do we begin to shift this? The first step is to recognize when we are blaming circumstances on our emotions and outcomes. We also need to acknowledge what we do and don’t have any control over. Again, we don’t have control over the weather. We do, however, have control over the thoughts and emotions we have about it.

Let’s retake the rainy day example. Instead of being gloomy and blah because of it, let’s look at the positive. Rain brings nourishment to all living things. Without it, there would be no life here on earth. We need the rain! Your reaction could be to utilize the time indoors as a chance to get caught up on indoor “things,” play board games or do crafts with the kids. Maybe you deserve some much-needed rest, and a nap is in order. In my case, I took the time to write this article.

There is a formula that Jack Canfield developed. You may be familiar with him. He’s the guy that wrote all of the chicken soup for the soul books. His formula for shifting your thoughts on circumstances is as follows;

E+R= O

E= the event can be the circumstance or situation (we can’t change it)

R= reaction to the event (this can be changed)

O= Outcome (what happens as a result of our reaction)

So with this formula, the variable and the thing that you can change is the Reaction. The reaction to the event (or circumstance) is changed until we get the desired outcome. You can change your thinking, change your communication, change the pictures you hold in your head (your images of the world), and you can change your behavior. You can’t change the event once it happens. It becomes effortless to blame circumstances. We really are stuck in this conditioned response. This is where the change needs to occur.

After You Get Out of Your Own Way

It becomes effortless to blame things outside ourselves for what we don’t like about our lives. We all do it. We will blame our jobs, bosses, spouse, parents, the economy, past, and even the weather for all that is “wrong.” The first place to start with getting out of your own way is by looking at yourself and your reactions, then shifting how you react. I promise life will look different and you will feel quite empowered!

Are you seeking help to get out of your own way and set goals? Book a FREE Discovery Call today!