The Power of Human Connection and Why it is So Important

When talking about holistic health and wellness, there are 5 building blocks in embracing complete wellness within the “whole self,” physical, emotional, social, spiritual, and Mental. In this article, we will focus on the importance of the social aspect and why human connection is important in maintaining our mental health and our physical well-being.

At the time of writing this article, we are currently in the middle of a global pandemic. We are practicing social distancing not to spread a horrible virus that has essentially stopped the world in its tracks. Everyday life, for the human race, has changed for everyone. Mandatory “stay at home” orders are in many countries and states within the US. Human connection is limited for all of us. For some, being alone and isolated is a real thing. It made me start thinking about the human need for social interaction and why it is so important. Furthermore, it is an enormous reminder that we are all in this world together. And while we are all different, we are all connected in the same experience at this moment in time.

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The Need For Connection

As humans, we desire a connection to other humans. Even if you are introverted and need to be alone to ”recharge,” we all have an innate need for this connection. It is important for psychological development from birth. Humans have always been social beings. We have evolved genetically to survive and thrive through the “togetherness” of social groups and gatherings throughout time. (1) Neuroscientists have concluded that our brains and nervous system are dependent on interpersonal connections and experiences in growing our neural networks and essential for the development of one’s own “self.”

Relationships

There are many kinds of relationships, and all are important for our emotional well-being. First, we develop casual friendships at work, school, or other groups we may be part of regularly. Then there are deeper friendships that may be short and powerful or last over the span of our lifetime. Next, there are connections with our family; grandparents, siblings, parents, etc. Last, we have an unconditional connection to our children. And the deep connection that some will find with a soul mate. All of these relationships help one to grow and change and are essential in the development of one’s self. Finally, we all strive to have this genuine connection with other humans.

There is a fantastic book called Deep Human Connection: Why We Need It More than Anything Else. The author offers a well-written understanding of deep human connection to help the reader reflect on their own relationships and build a more fruitful and satisfying life.  I highly recommend it. 

Health

Dr. John Cacioppo, Ph.D., is a Professor of Neuroscience and director of the Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience at the University of Chicago, and a leading researcher on the effects on loneliness and human health. (1) He states that being alone and isolated can be physically detrimental to the body, causing illness. Dr. Cacioppo also states that “The brain goes into a self-preservation state that brings with it a lot of unwanted side effects.” This is primarily due to the increase of cortisol (the stress hormone), which has been proven to have several negative effects on our body and overall health, extending from sleep disturbances to cardiovascular complications. Furthermore, research has suggested that perpetual loneliness can impact our bodies on a cellular level, causing gene alteration within the physical body. The actual feeling of true loneliness is comparable to that of physical pain.

Our body’s response to physical touch is a release of the chemical oxytocin. This hormone, secreted by the pituitary gland in our brains, is sometimes known as the “cuddle hormone.” Some of the hormone levels remain in the brain, affecting our mood and emotions. The rest will travel through our bloodstream, lowering the levels of the stress hormone cortisol, as well as norepinephrine. This action helps to decrease blood pressure and heart rate, making our risk for heart disease lower. No wonder the heart is the universal sign for love. What’s more, is oxytocin decreases the reaction to the sympathetic nervous system’s reaction to stress. In conjunction with one another, all of this will boost our immune response, so hug your loved ones today!

Keeping Human Connection in a Digital World

You would think, in a world where we are connected globally with the internet and social media, there would be fewer instances of loneliness. On the contrary, our society is lonelier than ever. Studies show that the antisocial aspect of “social media” is causing people to have a much smaller circle of close friends or confidants. Since the internet and social media era, the incidences of true loneliness have had a remarkable spike. Furthermore, the youngest generations are losing the important skill of face-to-face communication. We have the world at our fingertips, yet so distant is the true experience of human connection. Something as simple as eye contact and the comforting touch is lost in our digital world. The true essence of one’s energy cannot be experienced over facetime or zoom. What’s more, is an increase in generation gaps.

Our oldest populations suffer the highest from the loneliness epidemic. They may not be connected with the internet, and with younger generations using texting and social media as their main form of communication, generational connection suffers.

At Sunday dinners, the stories of yesteryear would be passed down from generation to generation; the art of storytelling in this manner is becoming truly lost. Even when the gatherings happen, how many family members are sitting on the couch, staring at their cell phones, watching youtube videos, or sending a Snapchat? Experts see a clear correlation between social media and the breakdown of social and personal intimacy.

What Can We Do?

In the midst of a global pandemic, most people are practicing social distancing to stop the spread. This makes it impossible for a true personal connection. What can we do during this time to assist in keeping that connection alive? Many families, right now, are quarantined together at home. Take this opportunity to connect with those people on a more personal level. Talk about each other, share the fears and anxieties felt during this time or catch up with what’s going on in their life recently, other than the state of the world. Connect with younger children through play while keeping in tune with their feelings surrounding the changes. Just be present. Put your cell phones away for a while and shut the computer and TV off.

If you do pick up the phone, use it to call a parent, grandparent (if you are lucky enough to have them still around). Or call other loved ones you can’t be with right now and talk about nothing. It is one of many people’s favorite subjects and should be.

I leave you with a quote from Dorothy Day from her autobiography “The Long Loneliness,” she writes; “We have all known the long loneliness, and we have learned that the only solution is love and that love comes with community.”